the best in the world

sometimes it doesn't feel like family

it's an old sticker book

they've been stuck for so long that they will not come off the waxy paper

just keep looking at the fuzzy ones, the smushy ones, the plain ones, 

the traded ones.

but they're not going anywhere

well, neither is family -

choose A or B

true or false

once you scrape that sticker off it'll no longer have adhesive

reattachment is not an option.

see suns

its a heat that hangs idly

and moments when hearts beat hotly

time slows in the summer

trees stop holding hands with crisp leaves

after foliage arts the highways

colors and apples drop from skies and the air is fresh in fall

cotton balls blanket the streets

and fluffed white pillows and silk sheets

the earth sleeps under winter

birds sing sounds of morning

the first warm day holds the heart in its hands

and flowers peek toward the peak of spring

is there still life in still-life?

she bent her knees and leaned forward, 

scrutinizing his waistline like a seamstress to the fabric on a mannequin.

she clenched his hips in her hands and jerked his waist, 

abruptly, an inch or so to the left and stopped. 

his arms limply followed, first extending out like an opened umbrella,

his torso the handle, 

arms twisting right, then left, while falling closed in one swift motion at his sides.

she nestled her head under his chin

and pressed her cheek into his chest

and crossed his arms over her back

where his hands landed loosely on her hips, graspless.

she waited, standing still, still felt nothing

nothing but an imminent heart beat and before body heat

so she let him let go 

ambi-dex-trous

[-teacher teaches-, student learns]

[student teaches, -teacher learns-]

anyone can do it, right?

-anyone can do it right.

and anyone can do it: write?

-yes, anyone can do it: write.

but only i can write with left, right?

-no.

well only i can write with right and left, right?

-no.

so then i left.

thanks to the trail markers

i can see where i am headed

and it looks like promise, but not like the promise land

and it looks real, but not like the real world

but it feels grand, maybe like the grand canyon, 

or playing grand theft auto, 

or a grand piano - - -

and i want to hike hills and press buttons and stroke keys

to let everyone know that i knew where i was going and i went there,

and look, isn't it grand, isn't it real, isn't it promising? 

look at all the people who followed.

i saw it all on the see saw

i wonder if it would work

if i sat on one side

and you sat on the other,

and although our bodies wouldn't balance right

i am almost sure that

what i harbor in my head

those mistakes, memories, thoughts and things

would compensate for the ample 

physical existence you have over me--

regret is heavy on the conscience,

lost love is heavy on the heart,

and presence weighs more than pounds.

in fact

i believe

i would be the paradox

little girl,

big boy,

and you are the one in the air while i am rightly grounded.

the number game

is it getting better?

because i get about 50 on the highway

and every night you sleep

but aspirations never sleep.

so drive, get back in the global game

it's incredible in and of itself

even if it certainly doesn't feel that way.

to take numbers

t0 s4y th1ng5 1n w0rd5 th4t c0u1d n0rm411y b3 3xpr3553d

take the multiplicative inverse of now

square it, get it out from under the radical

and be, be radical. see it from a different angle.

it's all an algebraic/geometric/personal proof

that doesn't need to be proven

to anyone

but

you.

dreamland

but he was angry and it was scary so i left that room and went across the hall to the other room

and i found uncle stu

and we got really high together

and he suggested we get in the elevator

so we did. 

and as soon as he pressed the button the elevator became a glass elevator in the middle of the bottom of the Palisades Sill where we were surrounded by rocks and mountains and nature on all four sides

and it started going up and up and up and up SOOO HIGH

and then it finally stopped and bumped up and then settled.. as if it got to a floor.. then we looked at eachother, like hahah that was fun and were really high, and then it started to go down faster and faster and i started to get scared so i said 

"is this gonna kill us?"

at first he said "no," with confidence.. but then he stopped himself and thought for a while and realized it would

so he looked at me right in the eyes and said,

"im sorry.. i didnt realize.. im really, really sorry."

and i think, I SHOULD PANIC, but then i stayed REALLY calm, really really calm.. 

like 'okay, we are going to die, i want to think of nothing, clear my mind, meditate,' 

and i am the calmest ive ever felt, ready to face my death, and then the elevator finally hits the ground, the glass shatters and we walk out and away.

e.g. scooters, vacation, fall

she uncapped the poland spring and sipped at the lip of her eco-shape bottle, 30% less plastic, and she stared blankly at the unappetizing freezer-burned baby carrots, cut and peeled and ready to eat! 

her eyes glazed over as the cold escaped the open crisper drawer. 

she kicked it shut and lay down on the kitchen floor, still staring at the fridge's contents.

the cold linoleum tile felt nice against her cheek

her heavy eyelids fluttered then fell shut

with the door. 

she dreamed she stood in front of a giant refrigerator, both doors wide open 

and she wanted celery and carrots.

but all it had was beets.

laces leaves sleep sleeves

when i said i could breathe underwater

i was serious.

my masseuse told me i have swimmers shoulders,

but it took me 6 years to pass my deep water test

because i can breathe underwater

and no one believed me.

but i was serious when i said it

or maybe i dreamed it

but it's becoming awfully difficult to distinguish a difference between dreams and reality

because i wake up and remember exactly how i felt, the same way i remember how it felt

to breathe underwater that time...

so i say 'you were in my dream last night'

i swear my senses are honest

i felt your touch, heard your voice, saw your face

and it never felt so real until it happened in my dream

and when i said it i was serious.

most effective machines

that valley up north

could be a machine

pumping out doers, not thinkers

see-ers not feelers

sentimental overflow: friday through sunday

dehumanization: monday through thursday

move by the bells

tick with the clock

study by the book

scatter marks on square bubbles

rules and rulers, marks and markers

wait until friday to feel something

because emotions are distractions

and human beings don't test well - robots do.

glass walls

seal them shut and let go

of that pencil

loosen your grip, you hold on too tight

-onto people's words when they let slip

when you get it

it'll just look realer.

yeah, realer.

such a small mark makes all the difference

from a picture to a person

if people could be controlled by pencils and pens

i'd mark you up so good

but i wouldn't touch your eyes.

smart fangs

the new trend

is getting yer wisdom teeth removed.

all the cool kids are doing it.

yep, yank those suckers out if you want to feel cool.

or a whole bunch of mouth ache.

how layers clear the air

wanna go? let's go.

where?

bonkers.

why?

because we can.

and then where?

to the moon.

why?

because they say we can't.

do you think we can?

i know we can.

how?

jump.

how high?

just do it.

how high?

just trust me.

trust you?

trust yourself.

pitter. patter. teeth. chatter.

its a cold soothing wet

individual droplets sheeting down from clusters of the same

falling upon anything and everything

so indiscriminating

so encompassing

smells of rain

trickling down treetops and rooftops

i sit outside and soak myself in smells of rain 

and the tears that are mine mix with the sky's

in an indistinguishable river that blows with windy gusts and heaving sobs

uncontrollable weather and uncontrollable feelings 

combine to create the storm within and without hesitation

the unstoppable torrential downpour and the unforgivable emotional outpour

dual in a stormy competition for attention

hear me because 

it rains on you, too.

what is it?

so this is what it feels like to _________

a jittery calm

a flutter in the fingers

a desire to listen, learn, read and write, to watch the news, to converse with adults, to network and research, to expand and express

a choking inner voice, deafening, exhilarating

impulsive conversation

human gestures

sexual desires

resisting 

sharing, sharing, sharing the same sentiments

it's all so real

too real

this is it... what?

this is what it feels like

to grow up.

recipe for hunger

when you crave something

clench a pen between yer teeth

chew but don't swallow

spit words with ink

taste textures and tones with tongue and teeth

enhance with stylistic spices; dash of repetition, pinch of alliteration

frost with a glaze of appealing punctuation;/.,-:*&[--]?!

bake, let cool, taste.

share with a friend

eat and digest

your words.