: rara avis

it's been a long winter
but now we're back at camp.

i heard you coughing
in bed this morning.
do you think we are to have a rough
allergy season this year?

well, no matter. i grew myself
out of my hay fever last spring
i simply said, Not this year.

i've lied about my age because i don't
get asked often enough.

i've made jokes i don't believe in
out of habit and community.

something keeps me young
something helps you sleep at night
these are probably the same somethings.

open your eyes, we're losing feeling.
close your mouth, we're losing sleep.

: of month

if you run hard enough away from pain

you'll be sore tomorrow.

growth is sharp.

there are so many levels

and they always feel huge

and they always hurt well.

i miss my broken bones the most

they were beautiful and slow
and they grew out of respect.

i remember
how to build my body

how huge i felt
how well i hurt.

every deep itch, every raw tingle and hot ache
i taught myself
and i've organized my memories in physiological order

so i can draw the clearest picture

of every threat i've ever known.

i know exactly how to heal

i am so fucking good at it
of course i miss it.