: nurse

When you know, you know. That's what they will tell you. Don't even bother to ponder on this, no amount of stagnant indoor thought will lead you to any major life decision. Maybe go outside and look up, breath into the wind and give back that breath, with effort. Confuse yourself daily, make mistakes and spend less time criticizing yourself for not being better today! Be fine with now, because now is real. Now is your life. Memories are interpreted, Then is shaped by Now. Who cares if your thoughts are unoriginal, life wasn't your idea! Self exploration, motivation, control, feelings, desire, purpose, these are not your ideas! Even your theories about these ideas are not your ideas! And who cares? Only you, as it pertains to yourself.  Stop worrying about most things. It's fun to tell yourself how to live, but what's funny is how much you worry when you don't listen. These are made up rules that only restrict your mind, not your lifestyle. Restriction turns ugly, just listen to the sound of the word in your mouth. Don't restrict anything, you will hinder your output. Even moderation can be dangerous if it's stagnant. Be up and down, try to be healthy and make decent decisions. Don't injure yourself physically, mentally, nothing is a stressor, even real health issues when they become apparent. Nothing heals under pressure.  Prevention shouldn't be an obsession either. You feel better already. Things are only scary or sad if you let yourself feel afraid or blue. The control is a gift, not a tool. Don't even bother to contextualize it. Just roll as best you can, over and under, with what you have right now in this moment, and believe you can almost always be acutely victorious. Make some noise! No need to exert so hard in every area, you will exhaust your resources and burn out. Just chill. Good things will come, but also, now is good. Right now.