flying through physics [an excerpt from a stream of consciousness]

Force can be dangerous- so characters emerge from the hindsight of my babble- and she sits in physics class F=ma and this shit presses down on her with a torque that turns her insides out ‘when am I going to need to know this?’ But still she listens because her future rests upon her present knowledge, tomorrows test, next months final exam, tonights homework- sometimes she thinks she can neglect it all. ‘So what will it matter if I fail tomorrow I’ll be dead eventually and not a single soul will remember,’ how morbid, think those she shares her free period with, that is depression, NO that is REALITY, is anything she said false? No.  And that is the true false question for the day, and we move on, multipleguess the teacher says because you’re all gonna bomb and I have no sympathy.  Fuck you, she thinks, I see the sympathy in your temple tan lines from those nerdy little glasses, I hear the sympathy in your mickey mouse after puberty mixed with barney VOICE, and I taste sympathy in the starbs I sip while you babble nonsense, NO babble is brilliance, and I feel sympathy in the flimsy rulers you pass out before a test. GOOD LUCKKK, you mumble, but I know you really mean it— so she sits in her chair and her stomach grumbles with digestion and she wonders where in the world her sister is at the very moment because for all she knows her sister isn’t doing anything- the perception, nothing outside of what I see exists – and still the tests are passed out and she laughs at problem 1- sketches a freebody diagram FREEBODY DIAGRAM. it is of herself- with wings- not wings like bird wings, wings like long eyelashes that open her perspective wider than the room can handle, wider than the pencil can draw, eyelashes that OPEN UP THE WINDOWS AND DOORS SO THAT ALL SHE CAN SEE IS ALL THAT THERE IS. she is flying through a field of fascinating feelings and friendships and fourtune tellers and finders keepers and fuck buddies and fig Newtons -and NEWTONS law of gravitation tries to distract her but her pencil erases all thoughts of physicssss and continues to trace her freeee bodyyyyy diagrammmmmmm right there, where numbers and formulas should be. Should be? Who says? Will I get points for creativity? nooooo never, never, never in physics. its just the solid answer, underlined twice with a unit written right on the end of the line. there it is in sure satisfying Ticonderoga pencil—permananently ethereal- that's so legit- and she hands it in- just like that- never felt so goddamn real- and she flies out of that classroom with her eyes wide open and her freebody diagram comes to life.